How does one begin to write about one's mental breakdown? Particularly when one does not know at what point it really started.
Am I even the best source? The eyes of mental anguish can see things a lot different to ones that are clear, focused and stable.
I could guess of course. If I had to plot it out, for the purpose of a book, I could write about the events leading up to my demise but perhaps it had always been there. Laying dormant like an exotic virus until it all came bubbling to the surface.
'It all' - in my mind I know what 'it all' is. I see it, feel it, taste it and know it. Maybe it just comes down to one word: depression.
Sometimes I visualise depression. When I do, I see someone pushing a lever down. A bit like the coyote in the old Roadrunner cartoon, when he pushed the lever down on the explosive to try and kill the Roadrunner.
Depression is something starting in my head that gets pushed down slowly, forcing the wind out and causing an explosion. Although many times, by the time my wind is gone I don't have the energy for an explosion.
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